Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
