does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
