You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
