I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
