She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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