how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
