i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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