Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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