I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize