john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm having to shit out rocks
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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