Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
