We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
