Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
