If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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