he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
