Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
