Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
