let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
