is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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