Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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