dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
