strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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