Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
These tits shall not be calmed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
