Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
