respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize