we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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