Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize