Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
