Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
