I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
two words: eviction party
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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