your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize