i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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