No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
