Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize