She's just so happy...and so naked.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
