STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
