i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
