Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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