I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
