Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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