All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
