I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
