i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The air was thick with penises
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
