My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Randomize
