I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
