just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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