i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
