Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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