my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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