in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
