Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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