I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
