GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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