I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
