Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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