textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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