come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
