I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize