My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
