We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
