at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
