How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
