Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
